The Truth About Low Libido in Menopause and What You Can Do About It!

Navigating intimacy in midlife can be challenging, can’t it?

At this phase of life, it’s common for us to experience bodily changes that leave us feeling out of sync — especially with our emotional well-being and desires. And I know, we all want to get that spark back and feel our best again — for ourselves and our relationship!

So, in this article, we’ll explore the factors contributing to this shift while uncovering great solutions!

I want you to know that you’re not alone on this path. Together, we can find ways to flourish and fill our days with passion — in midlife and beyond!

What Causes Low Libido in Menopause?

The causes of low libido (or low sex drive) generally vary from physical, emotional and relational factors. But in menopause, things can get trickier as hormonal fluctuations and stress add to the challenge. The foods you eat, your overall lifestyle and how you support your body while aging also play a role!

Let’s dive a bit deeper into these factors…

First up, the signature of menopause: Hormonal imbalances. Decreased estrogen levels in midlife can affect many aspects of our sexual function. In fact, as many as 45% of women after menopause (when estrogen levels are at their lowest) experience pain, dryness, itch, soreness and decreased sensation!

Those are the physical discomforts caused by hormonal changes, which, in turn, lead to low libido. So, believe me when I say there’s nothing wrong with you or the lady down there — there are real, hormonal changes behind the lack of arousal!

Now, if the dryness and other symptoms are not only brought by hormonal changes and age-related factors, they could be due to vaginal atrophy.

This condition is mainly brought by hormonal imbalances, but in some cases, it could indicate an underlying infection and inflammation. And one study found that painful sex (related to vaginal atrophy) was the primary reason for sex avoidance in postmenopausal women!

I mean, why would we want some sexy time when it’s painful right? I truly get it. But surprisingly, things have changed for me, on how I see sex and intimacy, now that I’m in postmenopause. Later, I’ve got some woman-to-woman insights that might open your heart to welcoming passion again!

And, of course, we can’t miss another big factor: Stress. Yes, there will always be stressful situations in life as we face various challenges — whether from work pressures, family dynamics and health concerns. However, when stress becomes chronic, the effect may extend all the way to our sex drive!

With too much stress, your body produces higher levels of cortisol — and this disrupts the hormonal balance essential for sexual desire. High cortisol can lower your estrogen and testosterone levels (yes, women also have testosterone — the hormone that revs up our sex drive, together with estrogen) — leading to decreased libido! Not to mention how stress often brings emotional exhaustion and fatigue, making intimacy feel less inviting.

Besides hormonal changes and stress, lifestyle factors — such as poor sleep quality, eating unhealthy foods (especially those that mess with our hormonal harmony) and a sedentary lifestyle — can further contribute to lesser sexual appetite.

And lastly, the emotional aspect of intimacy — which we’ll talk about in the next section!

When It’s More Than Just Physical: The Emotional Side of Women Sex Drive

As we age, the waning of our sexual desire can feel like a loss. It’s those thoughts and feelings of not being enough, loneliness and longing for connection that tend to linger, right?

Let’s zoom in to that last point: Connection.

I bet you would agree that reviving intimacy in midlife involves more emotional connection with your partner than just physical. It’s about understanding that intimacy is not only defined by external attraction or physique — but by your genuine warmth, shared experiences and heartfelt conversations!

Remember, foreplay starts outside the bedroom. It’s the thoughtful gestures, the affirming words and the affectionate touches throughout the day that build the anticipation — and deepen your connection!

And so, creating a safe space, a common ground, where mutual understanding can thrive is key. This means fostering open dialogues with your partner, expressing your unfiltered feelings and allowing each other to truly be seen and heard. Nurturing the emotional side of intimacy is just as important as taking care of your body and keeping your hormones balanced!

Most importantly, don’t forget about self-compassion. This plays a vital role in your personal journey. Recognizing that it’s okay to feel a range of emotions — be it pleasure, anxiety or doubtfulness — is already a huge weight off your shoulders! And how you and your partner show up for each other is crucial here.

While our experiences and relationships may be different, one of the things you can do is to engage in activities that reignite passion! Whether through shared hobbies, traveling, dancing or having romantic dates, it’s all about how you make the effort intentionally. Sensual touch, even in non-sexual forms, can also build closeness — helping to reconnect on a deeper level!

So, don’t fret — you surely still got it! Yes, aging can bring forth many changes, but we can also redefine it as a new chapter. We can turn things around and embrace intimacy in a way that feels more authentic and fulfilling!

With patience, openness and a willingness to explore, intimacy can blossom in your life again. It can restore, not only our relationships, but also our own sense of self! Isn’t that beautiful?

8 Practical Solutions to Boost Women’s Sex Drive After 50!

Midlife is time to prioritize self-care, practice self-love and find that spark along the way! Here are nine easy, enjoyable tips to boost your sex drive naturally and bring the passion back into your life:

1. When the Body is Nourished, Your Wonderland Can Flourish!

Dive into a nutrient-dense diet! Imagine meals that not only taste fantastic but also boost your mood, balance those hormones and keep your body feeling great!

Think of good proteins, low-carb foods (good carbs are fine), healthy fats, leafy greens and veggies! They tackle pesky menopause symptoms — like vaginal dryness, fatigue and mood swings — and give your sex hormones a real kick. Hello, increased libido!

For your vitamins and minerals, go for vitamin E, vitamin C, vitamin B and magnesium — they’re best for your mood and overall immunity.

And hey, don’t forget to hydrate!

2. Sweet Dreams for Sweet Nights!

Sleep is your best friend, not only for intimate nights, but for all your midlife nights. Make sure your bedroom is a cozy haven!

Keep it cool — aim for a blissful 65°F (18°C) — and dim the lights to create a dreamy atmosphere, especially if night sweats and hot flashes are crashing your slumber party!

Put the gadgets away to avoid distractions. Turn up some relaxing music, and why not enjoy the soothing aroma of essential oils? Oh, they’re the perfect allies for a restful, restorative night!

3. Find Your Zen: You are the Master of Your Emotions!

Take a breather! Spend a few moments each day meditating and reconnecting with yourself. A little mindfulness can work wonders for your mind and body!

Don’t have much time? Is your to-do list always too full for some peace? I say try deep breathing techniques! It won’t take long, but the benefits for your emotional well-being are super. Check out my article below and find the best technique that works for you!

Also, if you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to say “no” to things (or people) if you have to. Remember, stress can be a major libido killer, so guard your peace!

4. Nature Calls and We Will Answer: Get Moving!

Go for invigorating walks or hikes in the great outdoors. Some fresh air, a dose of sunlight and a little exercise can work wonders for your mood and libido!

If you just want to do it at home, oh you definitely can, too. Try to focus on low-intensity exercises — the ones that get your body moving enough without stressing you out. Yoga, Pilates and Qigong are great options!

5. Spice Things Up with Supplements and Herbs!

If you consider supplementing, DHEA and maca are my excellent go-to supplements. Both have effectively reduced many of my symptoms in menopause, including vaginal dryness, mood swings, stress and anxiety. DHEA particularly helps with raising sex hormones, especially testosterone, leading to an increased sex drive!

For herbs, sarsaparilla, Tribulus, damiana and chasteberry are generally linked to enhancing sex drive. They contain fair amounts of aphrodisiac properties, hormone-regulating substances and testosterone-boosting agents!

While the effects may vary among women and current studies are still being built, these herbs are more natural than synthetic products. So, chances are low for any unwanted side effects! Discover other amazing herbs to help you with low libido in this video by Dr. Patti Kim and Dr. Angela Agrios (Licensed Naturopathic Doctors):

6. Au Naturel Products for the Lady!

How about natural lubricants and vaginal creams? While they don’t directly boost libido, they do help ease dryness — making intimacy a whole lot more enjoyable. Sounds fun, right?

If you’re going for lubes, opt for water-based ones. They’re less sticky and give you that nice, natural feeling. Just be cautious though, as some can cause reactions. Always check the label and ingredients! The more natural, the better.

DID YOU KNOW? You can also find natural lubes at home! Natural oils like coconut oil, baby oil and olive oil could help. They have been used for centuries as sexual lubricants! Some women prefer oil-based substances because they trap moisture better and make the skin more elastic.

7. Hobbies? Yes, Please!

Dust off those hobbies or explore new ones! Finding joy in activities you love can help rekindle your passion for life — and in turn, your passion in the bedroom! This would be even better if you did them with your partner and showed support for each other’s interests. What a way to speak some love language!

8. Welcome More Sweetness — Not Sugar!

When dealing with all sorts of menopause symptoms, many of us seek comfort from food — especially sweet treats and sugary drinks. While they may seem to provide some fun and relief, the harm they can leave in the body is actually more serious than we think!

Here’s a great video from Dr. Christiane Northrup — I love how she talks about the connection between the foods we eat and our overall fulfillment in life. Grab her tips on how you can welcome more sweetness into your life without giving in to unhealthy cravings!

We, as women, become our most magnetic and radiant selves when we embody pleasure, joy, lightheartedness and playfulness — when we move from “doing,” to “being.”

Restore Your Drive for Intimacy — and Your Zest for Life!

Do you sometimes find yourself weighed down by emotional baggage or striving for perfection?

If this resonates with you, let’s unpack things a bit!

You know, as women, we often feel the pressure to have control over everything — our partners, our children, our careers and our homes. It’s time to recognize that it’s okay to have not-perfect-days! Especially in midlife when we need to show more kindness and care toward ourselves.

Let me ask: How much time and attention are you giving to your well-being?

This phase of life is not a matter of “Who’s living the most perfect life?”, but more of “Who’s at peace and feeling good about themselves?”

Oh, perfection can be draining, not just when it comes to intimacy, but in every aspect of life. It’s draining because often, the ideals we’re aiming for aren’t even aligned to our core values — but dictated by society.

So, instead of looking outward for validation, let’s turn this around! Because you deserve to feel confident and secure in who you are. True beauty comes from within — you can even make your imperfections look perfect! That’s the power of living life authentically.

Shift your focus to the qualities and strengths that are uniquely yours! Allow yourself to pause, breathe and truly feel. Fill your days with what you love and do things that bring out your passion for life! Rediscovering yourself in midlife will naturally and spontaneously make intimacy richer.

Take yourself seriously.
Have some “me time”.
Compliment yourself.
Have a nutrition boost.
Be present in the moment and live fully.

Don’t be afraid to explore yourself again.

The more you know yourself, the easier you can connect.

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