Does it feel like you have completely lost interest in having a good time in bed with your hubby? Well, don’t blame it all on aging! Age is just a number, and you are as young as how you feel! A wide array of natural lubricants, vaginal moisturizers and creams are available to help you!
I understand a long day of juggling all the chores, errands and work can make us so drained. We end up being dearly obsessed about getting to bed. But you deserve so much more than just an exhausting and lifeless routine!
Many stories from midlife women boiled down to one significant realization: You definitely don’t have to live with vaginal dryness. And it is my desire to hear your own breakthrough story too!
Why Do We Need Lubes for Vaginal Dryness?
Naturally, your vagina becomes lubricated. This natural lubrication makes sex more enjoyable and pleasurable because it reduces friction and irritation! However, many women in midlife (including me) experience vaginal dryness, especially in post-menopause.
At this time of our life, it seems like the vagina does not lubricate enough. Due to the absence of natural lubrication, the vaginal area becomes dry and more fragile!
Low estrogen levels, which is common during post-menopause, can manifest as discomfort during intercourse. Sometimes, it also leads to pain and eventually results in low libido! In some cases, women would even experience pain, burns or itch while walking or sitting. ?
For that reason, we need more lubrication than our body naturally provides. In these circumstances, who do we call? LUBES FOR VAGINAL DRYNESS!
Want to know more about the causes of vaginal dryness and how to avoid it? We got a very special article for that (since this article only talks about lubes)! Check it out! ?
The Importance of Hormonal Balance for Sex
There is a reason why estrogen, progesterone and testosterone are called “the sex hormones”.
Among other functions, they all work together to maintain every organ’s health in our reproductive system! These hormones help by:
- Increasing blood supply
- Strengthening the walls
- Maintaining pH balance
- Keeping moisture in the vaginal area
- Activating arousal and natural lubrication during sex
Without these things, sex becomes less pleasurable! Low libido can hit you if you have vaginal dryness. I mean, who wants painful sex, right?! Isn’t it supposed to be fun?
Well, I personally had big problems with this. My husband thought he did not do things right! ? He blamed himself for not getting me “wet”. Many women I talk to almost feel like they could live without sex. But for me, once you take sex out of the picture, you are also erasing pleasure, intimacy and connection. That’s why sex is IMPORTANT to me.
The oxytocin that comes with it is such a valuable hormone!
In fact, it is called “the love hormone” as it produces a sweet, feel-good effect! It also counterbalances “cortisol” — the stress hormone.
If you are intrigued by other natural ways to balance your hormones in menopause, check out our article here!
Natural Lubricants versus Chemical-Based Lubricants
A lubricant is a liquid or gel that women and their partners can use during sex. It helps to make the vulva and vaginal area wetter and moist. Lubricants have long been recommended by gynecologists and sex experts to effectively help couples with sex-related problems.
Nowadays, there are so many lubes for vaginal dryness available in the market. Many of the products contain a lot of ingredients and can be full of chemicals! I myself stay away from these. Always remember that what you put on your skin transfer inside your body.
The simple rule: If it´s safe to eat, it´s also safe to use.
You also have the option to make it yourself! Watch this video from Dr. Anna Cabeca, showing how to make a natural lubricant out of ingredients you can find at home!
Cut your worries, because I will share with you more of the top, natural, gynecologist-recommended lubes to make sure that you know the safest options to go for!
Top Natural Lubricants
These lubes are my top-choice, and coconut oil is my favorite! They are clean, natural products I can use often, which are good for my partner and me. There are also lubes made from natural ingredients such as aloe vera, water, pure flaxseed or chia extract, seaweed — GO FOR THEM.
Vegan lubes are also super great to use! These are aloe-based lubes with plant cellulose and added vitamins. ?
Watch out for gluten, petroleum, paraben, glycerin, silicone or fragrance. Remember that natural lubricants are free from chemicals that may cause itch or skin irritation! And that’s the best thing about natural lubricants — they don’t have any of these!
Water-based lubes hold the golden crown for increasing pleasure and satisfaction during sex! This type of lubricant has the following superpowers:
- Does not damage latex condoms.
- Will less likely cause vaginal discomfort compared to oil-based lubricants.
- Non-staining and can wash off easily with soap and water.
Awesome, right?! Some women report that water-based lubricants can dry up quickly though, so you may have to reapply.
Also, some of these lubricants contain preservatives and additives such as glycerin and parabens. These chemicals may irritate sensitive vaginal tissues or cause yeast infections. Parabens may also disrupt the normal function of hormone systems. Since they are known as hormone-mimicking chemicals, the body may treat paraben as a hormone.
According to Dr. Kecia Gaither, some women have experienced heightened sensations and better orgasms using CBD lube!
CBD lubes are also said to be effective in decreasing inflammation and increasing blood flow. It can also help with muscle relaxation, making CBD-infused lubricants a reliable option for women who have pain during intercourse.
Sounds like a lube you shouldn’t miss! ?
While lubricants are designed to make the vaginal surfaces slide with ease and comfort, moisturizers work by adding or “sealing in” moisture to fight vaginal dryness!
Vaginal moisturizers come in gel or creams. They can help prevent general itching and irritation. Still, they may not provide enough wetness to avoid discomfort during penetration. That’s because moisturizers, unlike lubricants, are absorbed by the skin. They need to be used regularly to ease dryness. ?
Many women go for these products because of not only “allowing” them to have sex again, but to “feel pleasure” again! Vaginal moisturizers work to rejuvenate, repair, soothe and even tighten. They can provide relief from vaginal dryness, redness, itching, burning and general discomfort caused by chemical irritants, intimate activity, hormone changes and menopause.
Yup, they may contain chemicals. But there are available vaginal moisturizers free of parabens, mineral oil, petroleum or animal by-products!
As you go through menopause, you will experience a dramatic shift in your hormones — affecting your vaginal health. The low hormone levels can cause unpleasant symptoms, such as vaginal dryness, itching, burning and pain during sex!
Estrogen-based solutions work by replacing lost estrogen. They can potentially reverse some effects of menopause too and even other medical conditions, such as urinary incontinence and urinary tract infection. These estrogen-based solutions can come in various forms:
• Estrogen Cream
Typically, estrogen creams work best when applied to the vaginal area. But you can also apply it directly to your inner arms or thighs! Once it is applied to the skin, estrogen cream goes directly into your bloodstream.
• Estrogen Patch
These patches are applied to the lower belly or upper buttocks area. They deliver hormones in small doses each day! A new patch is usually applied depending on the type used.
• Estrogen Spray
Estrogen transdermal sprays are easy to use and quickly absorbed by the skin. You can use estrogen spray on the inner part of the arm or your inner thighs!
• Vaginal or Vulvar Cream
Vaginal creams can treat several conditions like bacterial or yeast infections in the vaginal area. Vaginal creams are also used during menopause and post-menopause to deliver hormones and treat symptoms! These creams can also be used to lubricate and moisturize your vagina.
• Vaginal Suppositories
Vaginal suppositories are medical treatments that are solid and oval-shaped. They come with a specific plastic applicator and are inserted into the vagina. They become liquid within the vagina as they become warm to the body’s natural temperature. Vaginal suppositories can treat vaginal yeast infections and relieve symptoms such as burning, itching and odor!
• Vaginal DHEA Cream
DHEA, or “dehydroepiandrosterone”, is a hormone that helps produce androgen and estrogen. As estrogen levels naturally decrease, DHEA continues to be a source of estrogen and androgen in your body! When delivered directly to the vagina, DHEA is proven to effectively treat women with moderate to severe pain during sexual intercourse.
Know more about the promising benefits you can get from DHEA in our article here! ?
• Vaginal Ring
A vaginal ring is a small, soft, plastic ring you place inside your vagina. It steadily releases estrogen and progestogen into your bloodstream!
Topical estrogen creams can be purchased over the counter. But it would be a wise move to discuss the type that will work best for you with your gynecologist!!
Go visit our article for a more in-depth discussion about the differences between HRT and BHRT!
“I’m too tired all the time! What more would staying sexually active do me in this age, other than feeling good for a moment?”
One of the most significant turning points I had in menopause is realizing this: There’s definitely more to sex than just a good time.
Did you know that its benefits may even increase as we get older?
A study conducted in 2010 showed that staying sexually active was positively associated with better health quality in middle age and later life. This means that you don’t only get to maintain a strong bond and intimate relationship with your partner — you also improve your overall health together! If you ask me, that’s absolutely hitting two birds with one stone! ?
Another significant benefit of sex as you age is its protective and stimulating effect on brain function. Having sex is known to make people happy. Being at a time in life when many of us feel emotionally unstable, regular sex can ease anxiety and even depression! Sexual activity can increase your oxytocin levels, which positively affects how the blood vessels respond to stress. It decreases blood pressure and stroke risks caused by high blood pressure. And to top it all off, sex releases endorphins — which act as our body’s natural painkillers! Isn’t it awesome to think that there’s actually a pleasurable way to ease the physical pains and aches we experience as we age?
Menopause is a time to bloom, lovely woman!
You are now empowered with a lot of ways to put an end to your sexual dryness. It’s never too late to ignite your passion for a vibrant life! ?
There are several mucous membranes in different parts of our body. Mucous membranes are the internal layer of skin, covered by a thin layer of mucus, called “mucous membranes”. They are part of your body’s overall immune system, which helps protect you against foreign substances entering your body. Among other body parts, they can be found in your nose, eyes, intestines, mouth, lungs, airways and urinary tract.
As we get older, the mucous membranes in our eyes and skin get dry. Products like Bee Pollen, Royal Jelly, Sea Buckthorn Oil and Evening Primrose Oil are known to relieve dryness in these areas and may also help ease vaginal dryness!
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Gita is the founder of My Menopause Journey. Since 2014, she has been supporting midlife women by sharing hard-earned learnings from her own experience. To advance her knowledge, Gita puts a lot of her time and effort into understanding the broad spectrum of women’s health. She immerses in extensive research about the physical, mental and emotional aspects of menopause. Gita believes in the life-changing power of healthy, holistic living — this is where she anchors her message to all women. Learn more about her marvelous mission in About us - My Menopause Journey.