There are 2 keys to a happy relationship. One is to have fun together and of course not to take all things TOO seriously. It’s undeniable, but some down times in the relationship happen. This could be related to midlife crisis that many people are talking about. Reports have been released that midlife crisis exists. On the brighter note, you have the choice to not let it ruin your relationship. You can do things to keep your relationship intact. One thing is to choose to bring out the best in each other, instead of sulking in melancholy, which could only worsen the situation.
Ways to Bring Out the Best in Your Partner
The Art of Talking
- Talk WITH your spouse. Especially when you have disagreements, it is better to speak in a two-way conversation. You allow each other to speak while the other finds the time to understand.
- Keep your ears open. Sometimes, the best way to talk to your partner is to listen first. Allow him to tell you what he really means to say. Clarify as much as possible, to avoid misunderstanding.
- Be honest when you speak. Show compassion, avoid judgment. Your spouse can't read what's on your mind. Let him know how you feel in a calm way.
- Be assertive but not aggressive. Assertion means speaking for what you feel and not how you think your partner is making you feel. Instead of saying “YOU don’t find time to be with me anymore.” Say, “I sometimes feel alone.” Use “I” statements instead of “YOU”.
- Keep an open communication and observe respect at all times. Let him feel that he is important to you.
Seeing the Good
Notice the simple things that he may do for you and call him out for it and show your love.
- Appreciate the good things. Appreciate his new haircut or notice his new clothes and tell him he looks good in it.
- Simple courtesy brings you far. Say thank you when he makes you coffee or a sandwich or at times when he lets you hold the remote control.
- Bring back good memories. Find time to bring back all the good memories you have shared to together. Even when you feel angry from an untimely argument, reminisce good memories you had and it will help ease your emotions. It’s like going back to the good things when you first started.
Love Yourself. Wear happiness on your sleeves. No matter how much we want to change other people, sometimes, that just doesn’t happen. We don’t have control over other people’s feelings, only our own. When you learn to love yourself, it is much easier to offer love too. Start the goodness from within you and let your light shine out to the people around you including your family.
You don't need to be an all-out clown to have fun in your marriage. Showing your playful side can bring more than enough fun in the relationship. Tickling your funny bone can somehow bring a lighter atmosphere. Just enjoy each other's company! If you are not sure where or how to start, you can begin by listening to Mark Gungor's inspirational talks.
Mark Gungor's wildly popular seminar, Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage®, has helped tens of thousands of people in enriching their relationships and saving their marriages. He helps couples get along while having fun, through his unique humor and tell-it-like-it-is honesty. Watch part 1 (out of 4) of Mark Gungor's seminar on Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage® and learn how to bring out the best in your partner.
Mark Gungor also has a book Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage: Unlocking the Secrets to Life, Love, and Marriage and a DVD Mark Gungor: Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage – DVD related to the seminar.
This does not mean that you always have to be so clingy with each other to be affectionate. Simple gestures like tapping the shoulder, giving a warm hug, flashing a heart-felt smile, these are simple things that are often underrated. But, they actually give out good vibes and make your partner’s day brighter.
- Be with him during the rough times, but allow him to have enough space to think too.
- Ask him how his day went, when he goes home from work.
- Give him a kiss whenever you feel like it. It keeps the fire burning.
- Say “I love you” and show him that you do in your own simple ways.
Becoming as One
- Consider both of your preferences when making decisions. When you become one, you are no longer deciding for yourself, but for the both of you.
- Shared joy is half the sorrow. You are stronger when you face your problems together. If you share your joys together, the joy is doubled. And when you share the pain, it will only feel half the weight.
- Make Love. It never gets old and it’s designed for you and your spouse. Keep the fire burning and flourish the love together.
- Improve your spirituality together. Oftentimes spiritual intervention can help nurture and strengthen your relationship. Spiritual guidance can open your minds and help you bring out the best in each other.
- Some couples make time to have a dialogue where they would talk purely about how they are feeling, say in a week or within the month. This allows for an opportunity to understand each other more and clear out misunderstandings.
- Go on random date nights! You don't have to go out to dine. You can just set up a simple candlelit dinner at home. Maybe surprise your spouse with one. Isn't it romantic?
- Go out from your usual routine. Travel as a couple and enjoy your time together. Just the two of you. You don’t have to go far.
- You can attend couples retreats and other activities too! Most couples who attend such activities maintain a good relationship, as they learn to bring out the best in each other more.
Couples Activities you may like
Couples Massage Experience
The Massage Envy offers couples massage packages for your preferences
Private Couple's Retreat
Gottman's Private Couple's Retreats offer various programs that: